Don't let him scare you
Keeping endless reams of recorded statistics since 1960
Now We Know Who...
...they say. They, who are more than 5 feet tall. What do they know of cute flats.
Why won’t I, of the Oompah-Loompah legs, wear “cute flats,” Ms. I’m Not Bringing a Bathing Suit to the Bloggers’ Convention West Because I Have No Intention of Entering the Hot Tub Because You All Have Cooties Or Mange Or Something Gross?
BECAUSE MY LEGS LOOK LIKE TREE TRUNKS IF I WEAR CUTE FLATS.
There I said it. So now I don’t want to go in the hot tub BECAUSE MY LEGS LOOK LIKE TREE TRUNKS AND JAG THINKS I HAVE COOTIES.
So now it’s down to Trasherati and Mamma K, (who are coming, correct? Since I have not heard otherwise?).
I will, however, be wearing cute flats because, as important as the Bloggers’ Covention West is, it’s not a wedding and you all do, after all, have cooties and mange.
So even though he’s not a relative, Heir 1
has to endure gets a birthday blog.
Some random facts you may not know about Heir 1 (who is currently moaning):
Heir 1 is 18 today and his over-18 friends are treating him to something I find personally offensive, but is absolutely legal – a strip club (specifically, a
I do this not because he won’t listen if I forbid it, not because I’m passive/aggressive, but because it’s my job to let him go and let him fall and let him make stupid decisions and live with the consequences.
And I do this because his draft card arrived in the mail yesterday.