Tragedy has once again struck here in Flushing Meadows at Gnome Hill. Once again evil stalks the roadway and we cower in our house, too frightened to set foot out the door.
It started so innocently. The first time it happened, the theft of our gnomes, we blamed the usual suspects: teenage pranksters, the contract tree clearers hired by the electric company, etc. We sort of laughed it off, you know? Gnomes are funny, right? Surely whoever took them had to have a sense of humor. I expected postcards from my gnomes as they traveled the globe.
But now I know there is something more sinister going on.
As is the custom, many guests that have visited us in the past few weeks have brought housewarming gifts.
JAG and Trasherati were no exception this weekend. Knowing about our unfortuate gnome incident this winter, they wanted to help me replace the gnomes that were stolen.
Since we already had your basic garden gnome, thanks to our friends April and Steve (who I also need to thank for picking out some wonderful wine for me this weekend), JAG and Trasherati decided to find a gnome that would be unique.
And so they searched far and wide to find
a tranvestite gnome!
We like to represent all walks of life here at Gnome Hill and so Loretta was placed proudly on our front porch.
No one would have the nerve to walk right up to the house to take our gnome. We'd hear their car, after all, and the dogs would bark.
How could we be so naive?
The next morning he was gone. Not a hint of blue eye shadow left behind, not a streak of lipstick.
But we can't figure out how this occurred. All we have is this blurred photograph taken by our security cam:
Other pictures are being developed . . .