...they say. They, who are more than 5 feet tall. What do they know of cute flats.
Jag and White Trasherati, bestowing guilt on the dumpy-legged Sisiggy: Why would I wear the Heels of Death when I can wear something called “cute flats.”
Why won’t I, of the Oompah-Loompah legs, wear “cute flats,” Ms. I’m Not Bringing a Bathing Suit to the Bloggers’ Convention West Because I Have No Intention of Entering the Hot Tub Because You All Have Cooties Or Mange Or Something Gross?
BECAUSE MY LEGS LOOK LIKE TREE TRUNKS IF I WEAR CUTE FLATS.
There I said it. So now I don’t want to go in the hot tub BECAUSE MY LEGS LOOK LIKE TREE TRUNKS AND JAG THINKS I HAVE COOTIES.
So now it’s down to Trasherati and Mamma K, (who are coming, correct? Since I have not heard otherwise?).
I will, however, be wearing cute flats because, as important as the Bloggers’ Covention West is, it’s not a wedding and you all do, after all, have cooties and mange.
21 comments:
WHATEVER.
And leprosy. Don't forget the leprosy.
And the scurvy.
And the pleurisy.
And St. Vitus' Dance.
And carbuncles.
And dysentery
And ichthyosis.
Are you two having fun.
Ironically, we just completed adjusting the water in the hot tub.
Just ignore the skiff of scum. Move it aside and hop in!
Mama says that scum's good for you, shut up and soak in it.
(And boils....)
And colic.
I stick with ill-fitting sneakers, sisiggy. Why? 'Cause the shoe-makers have, over the years, made narrower and narrower shoes. I've been a EEE width since I was old enough to have the shoe salesman put my foot in those old metal foot sizers. All you find nowadays are "Extra Wide".
Extra Wide? Not wide enough, anymore! Yeesh! So I stick with sneakers as much as possible.
Heels must be a pain!
And Dutch Elm Disease.
And blight.
And rickets.
And chicken pox.
And canker sores.
And kidney stones.
Poor Benning stumbled into the Special Classroom.
As a matter of fact, I also have wide feet, but (of course) very short; so basically I have square feet. (She says trying not to imagine Benning in heels and, in fact, resisting the temptation to gouge her eyes out).
NOW CLASS, BEHAVE!
(and plantar warts.)
So, like me, you basically have Hobbitt feet?
(And ezcema.)
What is up with you people and your feet?
(and pneumonia)
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