Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm...Nothing is going on...

Shhhhhhhhh…..I’m trying not to be noticed by The Powers That Be.

We can be here, but try not to be too loud. Just sit here and pretend nothing is happening.

That’s right. We’re just sitting here and absolutely nothing is going on. It’s status quo here at Linguini on the Ceiling. The usual “oh my screwed up life, everything always goes wrong, yadda yadda yadda…”

Is he looking?

Good. We’ll keep it down.

I just wanted to check in with anyone who cares, to let you know that…

SHHHHHHHHHH…..

Things are going really well.

Did he hear me?

Whew, that was close.

We have a builder to complete our house and he showed up a day early. Not only that, but within one week he sent a stonemason and a siding guy to talk to us, ordered all the insulation and drywall for the extra rooms, and he showed up a day early.

SHHHHHH…Don’t let him hear you…

And then. And then… At rally practice last night Zsa Zsa did a down all three times on the first gesture. There were no blank stares as though she was taking that moment to contemplate the meaning of her existence. Just “down Zsa Zsa” and boom! Cheese please.

Quiet…don’t draw undue attention.

We’re just chatting about how crummy my life is…

You see, I’m sure this is a mistake. They’ve gotten me mixed up with someone else for whom all things go well. I don’t know who the guy is, but when he or she gets the first taste of bad luck I’m sure the whining will draw attention to the error. Lucky people have a low threshold for suffering.

So before the mix up is revealed, I’d like to get a little bit of headway done on the house and maybe get through novice with the Zsas.

I know, I know. It’ll probably be worse when things are back to normal, but I’ll have had this moment in time when I was the blessed, the chosen.

7 comments:

White Trasherati said...

Oh, Sissigy - I love your posts. It's like listening to the voice in my head, only funnier and smarter. And probably thinner and prettier, too.
(thinly veiled sarcasm)I can't WAIT to start building my house in the country...and for my two boys to become teenagers.(thinly veiled sarcasm)

White Trasherati said...

the thinly veiled sarcasm is meant for the "building the house/teenagers" comment, not the "thinner and prettier" comment. Didn't realize how that read until after it posted.

I'm absolutely sincere in thinking your voice is likely thinner and prettier than mine : )

Mrs Lifecruiser said...

Just LOVE this post :-)

..and the fact that it's going well with the.. (whispering: house)

If they don't continue you have to think out a revenge... Maybe you should begin to save some eggs to rotten...? hehe...

Spicy McHaggis said...

Mom, this is called paranoia.....Your house is on fire!!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha........

Jagosaurus said...

Y'all and your house-building pipe* dreams.



*Ha! That's a pun. Kinda. Because you know pipes are part of the building process and ... Nevermind.

White Trasherati said...

Sissigy, ya'll hunt dinosaurs, don't you?

sisiggy said...

Oh, Dirtman already has it out for Ms. Jag, what with her comment about 2007. We suspect her of luring Tony the carpenter away with promises of chewin' baccy and Red Dog beer. (Comment directed toward the abandoning carpenter, not implying Jag craves baccy and Red Dog...)

And, WT, I'll quote my Heir 1: "Mom, you're like a regular person, only they squished a 6-foot person into a 5-foot person." I think he was trying to make me feel better.