When the rain comes, they run and hide their heads...

Okay. I’ve been very patient. I haven’t said one word of complaint. For the past two days I have been gracious, tolerant, polite and accommodating.

But this is the third day of rain and someone needs to find something else for Dirtman to do and make sure it can be done somewhere else. It’s either feast or famine around here, in terms of time spent with Dirtman.

Mornings in a string good weather:

Dirtman (racing out door): Took $200 from the ATM. Don’t hold dinner. Who is that big kid sitting there? The babysitter?

Sisiggy: That would be Heir 1. We haven’t needed a babysitter in five years. Did you grow a beard?

Heir 2: Mom, who was that?

Heir 1: Can I have some cash?

Mornings on a rainy day:

Dirtman: Looks like I’m staying home today. What’s for breakfast?

Sisiggy: Homemade scones, eggs and bacon. Here, let me pour your coffee. How lovely that we’ll be spending the day together!

Dirtman: I think after I finish some paperwork, I’ll spend some time with the boys.

Heir 2: Golly, that’s swell, Dad. (Editor’s Note: Parts of the previous sentence were edited to maintain our family-friendly standards.)

Heir 1: Can I have some cash?

Morning on the third rainy day of the week:

Dirtman: Looks like I’m staying home again today. What’s for breakfast?

Sisiggy: Breakfast? I haven’t seen the stove since two nights ago. It might be somewhere under those soil maps or perhaps under that pile of topos or pile of faxes. Are you ever going to shave?

Dirtman: I think Heir 2 needs a haircut. And I think you should change the entire bookkeeping system for the business. Oh, and the filing system? Really stinks. Let’s renumber everything from 2004 on.

Sisiggy (Sinks to her knees and begins to weep.): For the love of God, when is it going to stop raining?

Heir 2: (Editor’s Note: The entire previous sentence was edited to maintain our family-friendly standards.)

Heir 1: Can I have some cash?

I would send him to our building site, but we’re down to the last contractor who will actually show up and I don’t want to alienate him (the contractor).

So now I am three days behind on office work and THERE IS NOT A CLEAN GLASS IN THE HOUSE. What’s up with that? Why can’t the glass be reused or rinsed and reused? And socks. The socks are everywhere. Only they don't match and I never see him actually wearing them. And why can’t the trash be put in the trash, not NEAR the trash, NOT IN THE VICINITY OF THE TRASH, BUT ACTUALLY IN THE RECEPTACLE FOR WHICH IT IS MEANT…

(Editor’s Note: Sisiggy will be unable to finish her post for today. When last heard from, she was mumbling, “Every pencil. He couldn’t sharpen the one he was using…no…he had to take a new one every time and drop them and then get a new one and drop it and get a new one and drop it and…”)