Monday, March 08, 2010

Curmudgeon Alert: Who are these people and what are they doing on The Oscars?

I rarely watch The Oscars. Dirtman runs it in the background so, if I’m dying to know who won what, I need only listen in.

Given an unlimited budget, I’d be in line for every first run movie. I do love the films themselves. I just wish the people who make them would be a little more low-key. The rest of us somehow muddle through our jobs without a seven-figure salary and an annual televised pat-on-the-back; why can’t they?

This year I sat in front of the television and watched – and even paid attention to – The Oscars. This was no small feat – there wasn’t a whole lot to capture my attention. If I hadn’t had such an emotionally-depleting weekend, I would have opted for something a tad more interesting – like doing my taxes or balancing the checkbook.

Now I realize, as a middle-aged person, most of my curmudgeonly griping will be written off. I also realize I’m not exactly the trendiest of middle-aged people (as my sons remind me on a regular basis). And so I do have a few questions:

Who are these CHILDREN the Oscars are passing off as established actors? And why, if they have impressed the industry so much with their performances, can’t they manage to read a teleprompter without looking like Ben Stein on Seconal?

Another thing: is there some sort of collaboration between gown designers and set designers to see how many vacuous ingénues they can force to walk to their mark looking like they have a load in their thong? If so – good job! It provided the only excitement of the evening.

I must say, it was good of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin to keep their jokes so lame and stilted that they made the rest of the show look almost riveting by comparison.

The only genuine moments came from the group around the movie Precious. They probably didn’t imagine they’d ever make it to the Oscars – well, at least not until their fairy godOprah waved her magic wand. I was kind of pulling for them, though it’s good to know Oprah doesn’t call the shots on everything in this country…yet.

I have to insert here that, other than Inglourious Basterds (Heir 2 brought his DVD of this home for spring break), I saw none of the movies up for awards. So it’s purely personal when I say I had to be happy that The Dude won for best actor (when researching for my job I came across Jeff Bridges’ website for his foundation for hunger in the U.S. – so he immediately jumped a few pegs in my esteem. And…he’s The Dude!).

I was trying to think of a clever way to end this, but I’ve decided to just let it stop, like how The Oscars end with a bunch of people just milling around on the stage.


Gwynne said...

You also have to give Jeff Bridges credit for being the only one (at least to my knowledge...I didn't see the whole show) to use the word "groovy" in his acceptance speech. I was disappointed that Sandra Bullock didn't give her Oscar to Gabby, or at least call her up on stage. I mean, Sandra probably still has an Oscar left in her, but Gabby's opportunity might have truly been Once-In-A-Lifetime.

Sisiggy said...

...and he's The Dude!

And Sandra Bullock gets credit for a cool, clean delivery. I was kind of pulling for Gabby, if only to give her "her moment." It's not that I didn't think Bullock should win -- I didn't see the movie. But it did strike me that The Blind Side wouldn't have offered the "acting opportunity" that would have come close to comparing with Helen Mirren's or Meryl Streep's (whose movie I did see this woman even mortal?).

Darkgarden said...

I just saw some of the news the day after the Oscars, which I didn't even know were on. Aside of being happy about Jeff winning (didn't care for what.... just that he's The Dude, ya know), and aside of Basterds, I didn't know any of the movies.

I saw some chick interviewed who was the real person that the Bullock gal played. She grated me like a hard chunk of Romano.

Saw a clip of that Basterd German guy; he seemed pretty funny.

I'm just not in the swing of things I guess.

Sisiggy said...

There was a Coen brothers movie up also, that I didn't even know had been released. Even if I'd had the money, I doubt they came around here to begin with.

Leslie Shelor said...

I haven't watched an award show since the year 2000, when I watched the CMA awards and realized that no one on the stage that year could sing (except Alison Krauss and Alan Jackson; neither of them won anything).

Shay said...

It recently dawned on me at the supermarket that I am so far out of touch that I don't recognize about 80% of the people on the covers of the gossip mags.

Of course, this frees up a lot of time for more important stuff like teasing the cat and tatting bookmarks.

Sisiggy said...

I think it's because of all he cable channels, it's a whole lot easier to be termed a "celebrity" than it used to be. They'll have to come up with another term for genuinely talented people because right now, when I hear the term "celebrity," I automatically assume: plastic good looks, limited talent, unmemorable.