Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"Not involved in Bob Dylan's toilet"

Thank you, Reuters. After a day of watching spineless posturing and listening to lame excuses from the House Subcommittee and AIG CEO Edward Liddy, I needed to read something like this:
Bob Dylan's toilet smell blows in the wind

03/17/2009 3:00 PM, Reuters

Bob Dylan has sung about wind many times -- winds of change, the "Idiot Wind," and the winds that hit heavy on the borderline.

But some of his California neighbors on Tuesday were singing a new tune about what is blowin' in the wind from his Malibu toilet.

A family living near the 67-year-old folk and rock icon's house in the posh California beachside community of Malibu have complained to city officials about an outdoor portable toilet, which is apparently used by guards on Dylan's compound.

Cindy and David Emminger say the toilet wafts fumes from waste treatment chemicals, and that the smell carried by breezes from the Pacific Ocean makes their family feel ill.

"It's a scandal - 'Mr Civil Rights' is killing our civil rights," David Emminger told the Los Angeles Times.

A helicopter from a local television station hovered over Dylan's property this week, capturing video of the offending toilet.

But Malibu Mayor Andy Stern said other neighbors report smelling nothing from the toilet, and that he has left the matter to the enforcers of the city's code on objectionable odors.

"I really have not involved myself in Bob Dylan's toilet, and by the way I haven't involved myself in anyone else's toilet in Malibu," Stern told Reuters.

A spokesman for Dylan did not return calls.

Dylan, whose latest album "Together Through Life" is due out on April 28, was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1988. His hit songs include "Like a Rolling Stone," "All Along the Watchtower" and "Blowin' In the Wind."

(Reporting by Alex Dobuzinskis; Editing by Jill Serjeant and Cynthia Osterman)

There's a job title for you: Objectional Odor Code Enforcer. I'd love to read the job description.


Darkgarden said...

My toilet smells like vanilla. Bob Dylan wanted to use it. I told him to go away. He ran back down the street making those strange epic noises. I think he left traces of doo-doo.

I'm pretty sure he stopped by to use it (cleansed toilet) so Billy Zane could sneak into our back yard.

Sisiggy said...

DG: You're going to make me have to explain you to everyone who isn't used to you yet.

Darkgarden said...

I completely understand.

However, I am not responsible for Bob Dylan's fecal trail leaving my yard.

Sisiggy said...

Great. Now I'm going to get hits from all the people Googling "Bob Dylan's fecal trail."

Gwynne said...

DarkGarden is really a twisted mix of Hunter S. Thompson and Tom Waits, isn't he? ;-)

Sisiggy said...

Gwynne: Without the drugs or pretension. Actually, his best stuff is for our personal enjoyment. If you met him at a BBQ or something, you'd figure he is quite normal (which he is -- um -- pretty much), mostly because he'd be doing the cooking and he'd want you to trust his food.