Heir 1 (on his way out to work, observing me watering my houseplants out of a milk jug): Not another re-purposed milk jug.
Me: It's just the right size and I haven't seen my indoor watering can since we moved.
Heir 1: One of these day I'm going to come home and find you wearing a milk jug as a hat. You'd decorate it with dried out weeds from the yard and old vegetables from the refrigerator.
Me: That's ridiculous. I don't wear hats.
Heir 1: You would, just to use the milk jug. Then we'll call you Marjory the Trash Heap.
Me: Nonsense. My Yiddish accent is lousy.