Setting: The public library.
Grandmotherly Librarian checking out my books: Ah! Someone needing some comfort reading.
Me: (nodding)
Grandmotherly Librarian: Well, Elizabeth Goudge will do it. I'm surprised you know about her.
Me: My mother had her books from World War II. I have them...somewhere.
Grandmotherly Librarian (smiling): Well, I hope she does the job.
Me (beginning to tear up): Thank you.
Setting: Later, exiting library.
Me (whispering to Dirtman): I found a few dollars in an old coat this morning. Think we can sneak to Rita's and share a gelati?
Dirtman (whispering back): I took money out of the change jar. I think we can each get a small gelati. And we'll go to the new one in Stephens City that not many people know about.
(Editor's note: this last is a consideration in a small town. Word has gotten around about the bankruptcy and any acts of luxury like peanut sauce for Thai Noodle night, movie attendance or name brand tampons are frowned upon.)
Setting: Later, at Rita's.
Server: We have a special today on gelati. Fifty cents off -- basically you get a large for the price of a small.
Me: (beginning to tear up) Really?
Dirtman: Oh...oh...thank you so much.
Server looks bewildered and hurries us through our order. Watches us cautiously as we eat.
Setting: Car, driving home with library books and gelati's.
Me: I can't believe the library had an old author like Elizabeth Goudge. And then a large gelati!
(Pause)
AND IT'S THAI NOODLE NIGHT!
Dirtman: You are just too pathetic for words.
6 comments:
Do NOT give up the gelati. And I believe I can help you - remember the BlogCon with the limoncello? I hold the key to solving some of your dilemma, as I shared that evening. I know how to fashion tampons from ordinary, generic sanitary napkins. It's kind of like rolling your own, only you don't smoke them. Don't ask how I learned this skill. But no more glares from asshat clerks for buying name brand! Plus you can gross them out by letting them know what you're going to do with the squat white package with "Napkins" stamped in black on the side.
I will share this knowledge for Thai noodles.
You ain't gonna believe this one, but I gotta side with The Dirt on this one.
Trasherati: I forgot you were the MacGyver of Menses! The Thai noodles are ready and waiting. (You do know, however, that my version of Thai noodles consists of store-bought rice noodles with a quarter bottle of peanut sauce dumped on them and peanuts sprinkled on top. This is not your gourmet Thai. This is comfort Thai.) Name your night!
DG: There must be some weird alignment of stars and planets. But I am aware of how pathetic I sound. I don't walk around like this all day. Actually when this happens it's like there are two Jeannes: the one being pathetic and the one watching me(her) be pathetic, who is amazed at the stupid things setting her off. This may sound like I'm in desperate need of therapy, but it's this type of disconnection that allows me to relate it later -- which, in and of itself -- is therapeutic. ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
I don't know which is causing more giggles here...tearing up at the library (which, speaking of public displays in a small town, was very strategic on your part ;-), hiding your "indulgence" in a LARGE(!!) gelati, or rolling your own tampons. Thankfully, your non-pathetic Jeanne is in full control and able to recount these experiences for the rest of us. :-)
gwynne: Trasherati does many amazing things, including make you laugh so hard Limoncello comes out your nose.
I have a couple of Elizabeth Goudge titles here; I'm also surprised you know about her. and it's the little luxuries that count in dire circumstances!
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