Thursday, March 20, 2008

Covert footwear

See this shoe?
I want this shoe. I want this shoe even though it goes with absolutely nothing I own. I want this shoe, it goes with nothing I own and I never freakin' go anywhere requiring this type of warbrobe.

I don't know why I want this shoe. I'm not one to obsess over clothes. Oh, if I didn't have clothes I'd be obsessive about covering myself up. But, other than that, I buy the kind of clothes that "go with everything," requiring as little thought as possible in the morning. And, of course, I have the obligatory outfit for an unexpected funeral and this shoe won't match it.

Perhaps, though I want the shoe, I fear the shoe. Yes, that's right. Because possession of the shoe means the outfit will have to be bought, otherwise owning the shoe makes no sense. Then there are the accessories, not to mention finding somewhere to go to wear it all.

Then -- I can't go alone, so there is Dirtman to clothe. Dirtman does have the clothing to wear to places we don't go. He used to have dress shoes also but, since he wear them everyday without socks -- even while doing soil studies -- they look and smell like the hide of a dead horse.

So this shoe is nothing but trouble. I need to get this shoe out of my head, but I think there is a cookie on my computer that tells every site I visit on the internet to remind me that this shoe exists. It follows me everywhere. I'm researching the European Union and combating the atrocities in Africa and a happy little ad shows up on the site showing me this shoe -- not a pop-up window, but an actual ad. Like it knows.

I suppose They (and you know They are out there) want me to interpret this as a sign from God that I should buy these shoes, but instead it just creeps me out. What else do They know?


Gwynne said...

You can always do like our grandmothers and wear them to vacuum the house! I actually have shoes on today that are very similar...and they're killing me! Can't wait to get home and put on my fuzzy slippers. *sigh*

Sisiggy said...

gwynne: Don't tell me that! This is the first time I've coveted a shoe with a heel on it. I want to maintain the illusion that all my troubles will go away when I possess this shoe.