In which I cite Greek myth, George Bernard Shaw and pretend I'm artistic

Pygmalion was a Greek king who was also a sculptor. He fell in love with one of his sculptures, causing George Bernard Shaw to write a play about this dysfunctional relationship.

Pretty soon Lerner and Lowe thought it a rather musical subject and further decided the two people on the planet that looked most like a Greek king and a marble statue were Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews.

This made money on a small scale, but not yet enough. So it was decided that, while Julie was perfect musically, she was way too governess-ish for a statue and would be better suited working in that genre instead. The role of the statue was recast with Audrey Hepburn who, while definitely statuesque, was a total fail in the musical area, but made up for it with enthusiastic emanations.

But back to Pygmalion. He had a definite opinion of his creation, creepy as it may be.

So here is my dilemma and clumsy segue.

My current project is a wall hanging made up of polymer clay tiles augmented with stuff. When I say “stuff,” this whole project was inspired by the grab bags offered by Fire Mountain Gems and Beads -- all shapes and types of beads to play with.

I might add that what I lack in artistic competence I make up for in enthusiastic emanations. I like shiny things and bold colors, so minimalists, move along; nothing to see here.

But back to Pygmalion. I have a definite opinion of one of my creations.

He’s a jerk.

I don’t know how it happened.

The color pallet for this square is one of my favorite color combinations: teal and gold. Don’t ask me why I decided a gold head on a teal background, other than I kind of like the poking and smoothing involved in sculpting a face. There are molds for this sort of thing, but I didn’t want my faces to look like everyone else’s faces.

I just didn’t prepare myself for this particular face to be that of a jerk.

I don’t know what it is about this guy that convinces me he’s a jerk, but look at him. I’ve done everything I can think of to make him anything else -- made him smile, made him angry -- but even settling for a benign stare -- you can still tell he’s a jerk.

But he’s a jerk that I brought into being. I can’t just squish him into oblivion. If I’ve determined he is a jerk -- I’ve determined he...is.

But I do have some creative influence. He deserves a pink bow tie. I know he thinks this make him look intelligent, but it actually makes him look like more of jerk.

I know what you’re thinking: who does he remind you of in your past that was a jerk?

I admit I’ve wracked my brain to think of who it might be that has me disliking this creation so much. Obviously, I’m projecting...but to whom?

Who do I know who is an absolute jerk...an a**hole....................................................

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Oh! How did I miss this?

The ultimate a**hole:

Egbert the a**hole