Me (to Heir 1 as he exits the bathroom to head to the basement where he lives...with the dogs): Did you clean up after yourself?
Heir 1 (rolling his eyes): Yes, Mom.
Me (Because everything must be listed verbally every time otherwise Heir 1 will insist he was never told to do it): You picked up the bath mat off the floor, sprayed the tub with Tilex and closed the shower curtain?
Heir 1: Close the shower curtain? I should think you'd want the shower curtain open so the tiles dry.
Me: No, you open the curtain so the plastic curtain dries and doesn't mildew. We definitely don't want mildew.
Heir 1 (disgusted look and stomps down the basement stairs): I have mildew FOR A ROOMMATE!