Goodness knows I’ve tried, but I just can’t manifest those clean, quiet, flower-bedecked havens where the children’s hobbies are things like bird watching or butterfly collecting; where mother churns out knitted and hand-sewn garments daily, all of which are eagerly received by her impeccably-coiffed and tidy offspring.
Outings on these blogs are always something cultural or educational and if they aren’t, don’t you know they will become so at the behest of the children because on pretty blogs the children all have an in-born desire to learn and better themselves wherever fate lands them.
Yes, I love looking at the calico-lined baskets and home-baked hamburger rolls featured on pretty family blogs. I dream wistfully of the day that I will lay out a quilt under a shady tree and my chicks will gather around me, laughing – no, giggling politely – at the antics of a blue jay on the lush green lawn. And we will drink of lemonade out of a sparkling pitcher in our reusable, environmentally-friendly, brightly-colored cups and eat of salads made with things with names like “arugula” and “radicchio” and of homemade cupcakes ornamented with edible sugared violets.
However, the reality is this:
(Trevor is not actually evil...just adept at looking so.)
Just. Don't. Ask.
And I proudly present my own offspring, who also have in in-born desire to better themselves: