Food Photography 101: Never let Dirtman have the camera

Place this carrot at the base of a roast (which we didn't have tonight) or in a dark brown crock with several other carrots, dim the lighting a bit and imagine Martha Stewart saying with her Planet Zimwakian accent, "My Spiced Roasted Carrots are the perfect easy compliment to any meal" and you'd be all over this "recipe" (which is, basically, toss carrots with a tsp. olive oil, sprinkle salt, pepper and nutmeg, shove in oven and roast).

However, present this to Dirtman on a Jadite plate (because you can't find the old china and haven't seen it since it was packed away) as a side to fish (which he hates no matter how it's cook because they told him it was healthy and Dirtman wants to eat only foods that cause his arteries to back up worse than the Beltway during a slushy rush hour) and he will go out of his way to prove to everyone that I am, in fact, trying to kill him by feeding him knobby shriveled elf arm.

For the record, the carrots were sweet and tender and the perfect compliment to my grilled salmon. So bite that, Martha.