At this festive season of the year...

And now it's on to good news and no more whining until they cut off the internet connection and cart me away, which we all know won't be happening because the Universe will not allow the silencing of the Linguini.

So...Christmas. As despondent as we should have been, we somehow managed to put out own special Linguini deranged twist on this festive day. My sister-in-law Beth came up with the idea that instead of buying more clutter stuff, we instead draw names and buy "gag gifts."

Naturally, those of tender years received their visit from Santa, who is getting old and has drastically reduced the load he's willing dump under the tree. Nonetheless, the Heirs did not do too shabbily: Heir 1 has been wanting an acoustic (Thank God...) bass and Heir 2 earned his letter jacket last year so Santa was a year overdue (Who is this child who earns letters in both sports and academics? I'm convinced he's a changeling. Somewhere there is a geeky, clumsy 17-year-old 8th grader wondering what he's doing in a family of doctors, lawyers and Olympic medalists.)*

So anyway, on to the rest of the gifts:

Dark Garden was anxious that Progeny L begin opening his gift first.

But after two layers of wrapping, we decided to move on. We'll come back to Progeny L.

John Boy, who pulled Dark Garden's name, wins the prize for having traveled the farthest to buy his gift and for getting the...ahem...most for his dollar:


All from the exotic locale of Atlantic City and all purchased for under $7! Such a bargain!

Meanwhile:







Progeny L gets the award for Gift We're All Eternally Thankful For because he got it for Dirtman:

(You'll have to click on the picture if you want to read the tube. We'll leave it tiny for the faint of heart.)








And still:







There was a definite war of the alma mater, with Dirtman lowering himself to purchase a Rutgers t-shirt for John Boy and Heir 2 gifting Beth with a Virginia Tech banner that he'll be extremely hurt if she doesn't display at all her WVU games (like that's going to happen).

And off in a corner:






And Beth gave Heir 1 a t-shirt that probably speaks for us all:


I do wish Dirtman had managed a picture of Progeny T eating his gummy haggis and chewing his squirrel gum, because I am so indebted to T for my gift (we drew each other's names). See, Progeny T thought he was insulting me by making a comment on my short stature. But...he didn't so much give me a step stool as the gave me a yarn swift...



...and kitty tent.

We rounded out the holiday with rousing games of Balderdash; only, since there were only six markers we had to find other pieces to move around the board. Heir 1 decided on this, which he had been loaning out to the nativity scene to watch over baby Jesus:



So now everyone has gone home...oh, except for...


(I bring him toast now and then, just to keep his strength up.)

And, since this is already overloaded with annoying family photos, I give you Abby and Hokie:



*I'm perfectly aware that I surreptitiously inserted a motherly brag in there while pretending to be self-deprecating. Give me this crumb.