Gag a maggot...

There are two commercials on the air lately that are really bugging me.

By way of disclaimer, these commercials may be old news, but I don’t often sit down and watch television for any length of time to absorb the ads. Sometimes, especially during long bouts of inclement weather, your criteria for interesting programming becomes more loose and you find yourself not so much watching whatever is vaguely interesting so much as watching whatever isn’t totally offensive.

And so this past weekend I found myself watching for the sake of watching which also involves experiencing the same commercials ad nauseum.

Is it me, or is anyone else grossed out by the commercial featuring the M&Ms with hair?

I know the M&Ms are supposed to look like the people whose picture you just saw enjoying a bag of M&Ms but, then, THERE ARE M&MS WITH HAIR! Doesn’t that make you want to gag?

Maybe, maybe, I could get over the M&Ms with a hairdo, but the ones with beards and mustaches give me that thick feeling in the back of my throat. I must be what a cat feels like when it wants to cough up a hairball.

Then there is that KFC commercial where the teenager is on the phone with his mother asking if he can stay for dinner at his friend’s house. He hands the phone to his friend’s mother whining, “She doesn’t believe me,” and the friend’s mother takes the phone as says into it, “Yes, we’re having dinner. Together.” Then she looks incredulously at the kid like he’s being raised by apes.

Now this ad is rather special because I talked to a teenager who also found it offensive, though for a different reason than mine. He wanted to know what this kid had done in the past that made his mother so suspicious of a dinner invitation. Or, perhaps, what had gone down with that particular family in the past that made her so disbelieving?

I can’t believe that KFC chicken is being passed off as real food that someone would brag about being a “meal.” I realize that this is the whole point of the commercial, but who do they think they’re kidding? This is KFC chicken, basically hunks of lard with bones.

The Heirs point out that I’m showing my age. When Hamburger Helper came out (yes, I am older than Hamburger Helper…) it was marketed as something to use when you’re in a time crunch. No one would have deigned to call it “cooking.” Now it’s not only “cooking,” but I expect to see it show up on Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade show any day now. (Spot-On’s Kevin Weeks has a great article on this. I’m so glad I’m not the only one annoyed by Sandra Lee.)

Of course most commercials are just plain annoying anyway, home equity loan ads in particular. And don’t get me started on commercials for weight loss systems.

At least, though, they don’t make me gag.

JAG: Honest to God, I wrote this last night.