Only in the Shenandoah Valley...

…would you see – or, rather, not see – a guy dressed in gray camouflage standing in the middle of the gray pavement of a major state highway just over the rise of a hill for the purpose of stopping traffic going 55 mph.

I wanted to stop and present him with Virginia’s own Darwin Award, if, indeed, Virginia had a Darwin Award, which I strongly doubt it ever will because in Virginia this guy was spawned through some divine plan that we mortals cannot fathom. In this case, I think even the staunchest creationist has to see the benefit of cleaning up the gene pool.

Pitiful...

...absolutely pitiful.

Hello? (tap, tap, tap) This thing on?

Umm…Hi.

Did ya miss me?

Hello?

Anybody there? Anyone left?

I have no excuse for not having posted in so long. I’ve even missed my first blog birthday.

What have I been doing? you ask. Or maybe you don’t.

Looking out the window. I’ve got a really nice view out my window. It’s fall and I’m in the middle of the woods. Then there are the bird feeders. I could spend all day looking out at the bird feeders.

Vacuuming. Right before Ms. Zsas goes into heat, she blows her coat – all over the house. Then there is Salt and his annual creeping crud disease where he loses all his hair and is embarrassed by the other dogs laughing at him because he looks like Piglet. This year, out of sympathy I guess, or just because he’s an idiot, Topper decided to get the crud too, only a different crud so that what worked for Salt would not work for Topper and vice versa. The result is a noxious cloud of antibacterial sprays floating over Gnome Hill at Flushing Meadows and me constantly vacuuming dog-fur tumbleweeds.

Vacuuming ladybugs. These pictures do not begin to do justice to the full impact of the infestation. I took over vacuuming these from Dirtman because he was beginning to have way too much fun and his maniacal laughter was keeping us all up at night. Besides, he wasn't leaving any for Zsa Zsa to snack on.

Cooking. Two tri-vection ovens, a five-burner gas cooktop and a full pantry. Oh. Yeah.

Ironing. I can’t help it. I love to iron and listen to oily 1950s Italian men sing to me on Sirrius Standard Time.

Sewing. (Okay. I see you shaking your head. Leave me alone – I’m pretending it’s 1947)

Knitting. I still haven’t finished anything and the one thing I would have finished from last year was burnt to a cinders by Heir I and his friend while they were removing an old bed from the House of Squalor (don’t ask. Just. Don’t.)

Driving Heir II back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Less than a year and he can drive himself, but for now…

Teach Zsa Zsa the down. Teaching Zsa Zsa the down all the time. Teaching Zsa Zsa the down when I need her to down the most – like when she’s vying for her Canine Good Citizen Award, which she now has thankyouverymuch.

So there you have it: a brief run-down of the past month. Now wasn’t that a lot quicker than a bunch of separate whiney posts?