Thursday, June 22, 2006

In Shenandoah County

So this is what it has come down to:

We go to the House of Never-ending Construction.

We do laundry. We water tomato and herb plants. We sit on the deck and read. The dogs romp in the yard. We occasionally use the bathrooms. We pass by a brand new king-size bed.

There are items accumulating in the refrigerator: bottled water, condiments and leftovers, which is all we ever seem to have in a refrigerator.

Sometimes I dust or vacuum, but mostly not.

When I’m by myself and it’s raining I sit in the library and knit while I wait for the laundry. If it’s not raining, I sit on the deck. I read there too.

In fact, we do everything anyone else does in a house except live in it.

We always end up back in the House of Squallor, sleeping on a broken mattress with wires sticking in our backs.

And all because of the garage door.

Yup.

The garage door.

Apparently, in the county of Shenandoah it is a health hazard to not have a garage door. In Shenandoah County.

It did no good to explain that The House of Squallor has no garage door either. It’s not a health hazard if the house is already there. In Shenandoah County.

The funny thing is that last time the inspector was here, it was a health hazard to have a spare bedroom unpainted. In Shenandoah County. You’d think the subject of the garage door would have come up at that time.

But no and we just sigh and accept that communication in the construction industry is non-existent and someone is making up and changing the rules as they go along. Someone who hates us.

So we continue to do our laundry, water the plants, read and sit.

Then we go home to The House of Squallor.

In Shenandoah County.

12 comments:

Jagosaurus said...

Note to self: do no build a house in Shenandoah County.

Do you have an ETA for the garage door? And once it is installed, are you taking bets on what the next obstacle will be? Perhaps the hot water knob is a bit too tight in one of the many bathrooms? There's evidence of unauthorized laundering? Water damage to the deck because it rained? Gnomes?

sisiggy said...

The garage door will arrive on the 30th. On July 1st, since the General Assembly won't pass the budget and the county will lose funding, the inspector will decide not to work. You read it here first...

Jagosaurus said...

You're catching on!

White Trasherati said...

And it's such a lovely house. To visit, apparently. Never to live in.

zibibbo said...

*shakes head*

good grief. so close, yet so far.

Jagosaurus said...

Could we party in your house even though no one can reside there, ever?

happy and blue 2 said...

So what you are saying is that by the time you can actually move in you will have to sell it to move into a retirement home..

Adrift At Sea said...

LOL... gotta love the government bureaucrats... they got to justify their salaries somehow...

Lifecruiser said...

Oh, I got it, you haven't offered them the right BRIBE, that's what's the problem.... *lol*

Leslie Shelor said...

I went through MOST of Shenandoah County on Thursday and Friday; looked for signs directing to the House of Never-Ending Construction since I thought it would be a major tourist attraction. Failing that, at the very least I expected to see the House of Zsa-Zsa pointed out.

jon said...

We do the same thing, only it's our neighbors house (when they aren't home). We like to pretend it's our house.

benning said...

And that's but one reason I loathe government micromanagement of our lives. Some petty bureaucrat put that rule in so he could help out his brother-in-law, or an old school chum who owned a garage door company, or to get back at somebody who peeved him.

Idiocy. No other description for it!

But since I started at the top of the blog, I know it all turns out for the best! LOL