Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Source of the Mysterious Purple Stain...

... is revealed.

This shows how often I open my microwave and I only opened it today to defrost the dogs' dinners.

Now this brings up some interesting observations.

First: Note the knife balanced on the edge of the crust, yet look at how jagged the cuts. Obviously the knife is a ruse to make you think this pie was being consumed in pieces when, actually, it was in the process of being consumed en mass with a fork.

You can't see this, but the edge of the fruit filling is drying out, indicating that it has not been touched in roughly two days. Yet I can tell you from first-hand observation the consumption of junk food has not abated during that time. This could mean only one thing: the blueberry pie in question tastes like lumpy solidified corn syrup baked in Playdoah.

But, then, you may ask, why is half the pie gone?

The answer can only be found by ascertaining who, in fact, bought and ate said pie half.

We know, don't we, that whoever did this had to be able to open the microwave. That leaves out Zsa Zsa, Topper, Gaspode and all the cats.

It wasn't Salt either because he can't hold a fork and eat at the same time.

That leaves Dirtman and the Heirs.

So now, the half-pie issue. Who would eat half a foul-tasting pie.

Heir 1 is much too fussy an eater to go beyond one bite and he doesn't like store-bought pie anyway (Honest, Mama K -- I only make him pie when I feel like it...). As for Heir 2 -- well, corn syrup and Playdoah are much too healthy for him.

The person who bought, ate and left the pie would have had to consume an entire half pie so rapidly that it would have gone down before he realized just how hideous it tasted. Therefore, the purchaser, consumer and abandoner of said blueberry pie is


BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR BLOGGER ERROR

6 comments:

Karjak Thrice said...

It was the mailman!

Spicy McHaggis said...

Hey!......I like playdoh..........

Haha, your kids are your first comments!

zib said...

Rest assured it wasn't me.

Somedays I fear opening the microwave here.

mrhaney said...

it was not me but i have to say i like all kinds of pies and i will eat them even if they are store bought.

Jagosaurus said...

Why - WHY - do people think the microwave oven is a breadbox/safe/time machine/perfectly acceptable place to store socks (don't ask)?

I actually considered telling you to check the microwave for the source of the purple stain....

jon said...

I admit... sob ... I did it ... sniffle . . . . .I couldn't help myself.