First off, what's up with none of the black socks matching? How is it possible that out of four pairs of socks, only the mate disappears? Why not one complete pair?
Ah! But this is a question that has baffled philosophers since the dawn of – er – socks. The problem is, what to wear with black slacks and a red shirt.
Now, before you answer, look at this:
See? The red does not really match either.
Wait, wait! I only want to hear from females. No, I’m not sexist, only experienced. I presented this dilemma to the Linguini males. Heir 1’s answer was totally unacceptable in that he could not understand why this was so important. We threw out that answer. And we threw out Heir 2’s suggestion that I wear the white socks, claiming white goes with everything, and tried not to call him a dweeb. And Dirtman’s suggestion that I wear one black and one red has slightly sinister overtones to it, like he was daring me.
Besides, why should I listen to a man who went to see The Chronicles of Narnia last night in freezing temperatures with no socks at all. The socks were probably festooning a lamp.
The only males left after this were, I’m afraid, the dogs. Neither terrier was interested, seeing as the socks are neither diving under the bed or good to eat. And Topper just sniffed a few times, grabbed the sock and took it for his collection on his chair….
Excuse me. I have laundry to do.
(Editor's note: Thanks to Heir 1 who, in spite of questioning the validity of a blog post about socks, still agreed to take the picture. It was either that or I take the picture and he wears the red shirt...Naaah.)