Yes! The day is here, Dahlings!

The day you get to hear from Me, The Zsa Zsa!

Yes, I know you’ve had to endure two days of The Person droning on and on about her sad little life. But she did set up this little blog thing for me so I can communicate with You, my Adoring Admirers.

And The Person is such a good little typist and supposedly makes a lovely cup of coffee (though The Zsa Zsa does not drink coffee. It causes the skin to age prematurely – not that this is a problem for The Zsa Zsa…)

So today The Person will be busy because, you see, today is Spa Day for The Zsa Zsa!

Yes, today is The Zsa Zsa’s day of pampering, where The Zsa Zsa will be bathed and massaged. The Zsa Zsa will be fluffed and pouffed. The Zsa Zsa will be made to be even more fabulous than the Zsa Zsa already is. All because tomorrow is:

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The Day of Zsa Zsa

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Yes, Dahlings. The Zsa Zsa will be making a public appearance and my Adoring Admirers will come from all over the country, bringing their own Persons with them, all to do homage to The Zsa Zsa!

Then they will choose One Among their Persons who may meet The Zsa Zsa one-on-one and that Person may actually touch The Zsa Zsa!!!!!!!!!

(I must say, though, Dahlings, some of these Persons do touch in some of the rudest ways. I suppose it’s because most of them are mongrels and, as we all know, breeding always shows. Ah, well, I suppose we must endure their little foibles if we are to continue allowing them to serve us.)

For a special treat, also with The Zsa Zsa will be appearing her son – uh – close male relative, The Bedford!

(ha ha – pardon the slip of the tongue – heh, heh – how can he be my son when The Zsa Zsa is only a puppy herself – heh, heh…)

I’ve managed to secure a much more experienced Person for my Bedford. I, of course, being The Zsa Zsa, can train my person, she’s so new to all this. Though I must admit to being a bit envious of my son – close male relative – when I see him precede me so regally and well-presented and then I, The Zsa Zsa, must endure the antics of this…this…this Clod...This…Oaf…this…Woman!

(Pardon my French, Dahlings, but, you know in person breeding, “woman” is not a derogatory term.)

Yet, I know, The Zsa Zsa’s magnificence will shine through, in spite of the little woman. I know this because always the Chosen Personage says a heartfelt “thank you” after the Zsa Zsa had allowed it to touch her. It is such an honor for them (an honor I don’t think the little woman appreciates to its fullest extent).

Always after the One Chosen Personage is permitted the ceremonial Touching of the Zsa Zsa, we go home. I have no idea what you Adoring Admirers do for the rest of the day since we never stick around to find out, but I assume there are celebrations and festivities honoring All That is Zsa Zsa!

Someday, perhaps Dahlings, I will stay and receive the honor that is my due. But The Person is so easily bored and does tire quickly. Sometimes The Zsa Zsa thinks it is The Zsa Zsa who should be waiting on her, instead of the other way around.

But that would be absolutely ridiculous! HA! Imagine letting a person in charge? HA! (Though I do hear, among the mongrel trash it is common that the dog sleeps on the floor while the human sleeps on the bed. Truly! I’ve heard whispers of this embarrassing practice. Though it is to be expected among that class, it is a dangerous situation should word get out among our own.)